arfblat

2011-12-23T11:23:00.002-05:00

Hello.

2010-01-31T01:42:00.009-05:00

AHAHAHAHA!!!

2009-12-15T23:20:00.001-05:00

Awezome:

2009-12-04T16:01:00.002-05:00

Hooray for tilt-shift-time-lapse!!

Beached from Keith Loutit on Vimeo.

Metal Heart from Keith Loutit on Vimeo.

2009-10-07T15:01:00.016-04:00

Mon Dieu! J'aime cette chanson!
Et le film est bon aussi!

Avant la Haine (Romain Duris & Joanna Preiss)
Lui :
Sais-tu ma belle que les amours
Les plus brillantes ternissent
Le sale soleil du jour le jour
Les soumet au suplice

J'ai une idée inattaquable
Pour éviter l'insupportable

Avant la haine, avant les coups
De sifflet ou de fouet
Avant la peine et le dégout
Brisons-là s'il te plait

Elle :
Mais je t'embrasse et ça passe
Tu vois bien
On s'débarrasse pas de moi comme ça

Tu croyais pouvoir t'en sortir,
En me quittant sur l'air
Du grand amour qui doit mourir
Mais vois-tu je préfère
Les tempêtes de l'inéluctable
A ta petite idée minable

Avant la haine, avant les coups
De sifflet ou de fouet
Avant la peine et le dégout
Brisons-là dis-tu

Lui :
Mais tu m'embrasses et ça passe
Je vois bien
On s'débarrasse pas de toi comme ça

Lui :
Je pourrais t'éviter le pire

Elle :
Mais le meilleur est à venir

Ensemble :
Avant la haine, avant les coups
De sifflet ou de fouet
Avant la peine et le dégout

Lui:
Brisons-là s'il te plait

Elle:
Mais je t'embrasses et ça passe
Tu vois bien

Ensemble :
Avant la haine, avant les coups
De sifflet ou de fouet
Avant la peine et le dégout

Elle:
Brisons-là dis-tu

Lui :
Mais tu m'embrasses et ça passe
Je vois bien
On s'débarrasse pas de toi comme ça

Elle:
On s'débarrasse pas de toi comme ça
(lyrics)

Before the Hate (Romain Duris & Joanna Preiss)
Him:
You know, my lovely,
That the brightest loves tarnish
The dirty sun of the day, the day
They are subjected to scrutiny?

I have an irrefutable idea
For avoiding the unbearable:

Before the hate, before the blows,
The hisses or the lashes,
Before the pain and the disgust --
Please, let's end it there.

Her:
But I kiss you and it passes.
You see,
You can't brush me off like that.

You thought to get yourself out of it
By leaving me like
Some great love that must die.
But, you see, I prefer
The tempests of the inevitable
To your stupid little idea.

Before the hate, before the blows,
The hisses or the lashes,
Before the pain and the disgust --
End it there, you say?

Him:
But you kiss me and it passes.
I know,
You can't be brushed off like that.

Him:
I could avoid for you the worst.

Her:
But the best is yet to come.

Together:
Before the hate, before the blows,
The hisses or the lashes,
Before the pain and the disgust

Him:
Please, let's end it there.

Her:
But I kiss you and it passes
You see?

Together:
Before the hate, before the blows,
The hisses or the lashes,
Before the pain and the disgust

Her:
End it there, you say?

Him:
But you kiss me and it passes.
I know,
You can't be brushed off like that.

Her:
You can't brush me off like that.
(translation)

2009-09-19T23:48:00.001-04:00

BAhHEhehIKAHE!!

2009-09-08T22:25:00.002-04:00

LISTES!

LISTS: likes, dislikes, ideas, themes, issues, subjects, objects, names, words, fonts, colors, flavors, scents, sounds, songs, movies, shows, books, fictional characters, heroes, villains, myths, religions, cultures, social norms, social movements, rebellions, utopias, alternate realities, alternate histories, animal hybrids, abandoned places, restaurants, food, cars, trends, toys, collections, obsessions, fears, patterns, textures, logos, symbols, art/artists, photography subjects, occupations, experiments if there were no moral/physical limits, what-ifs, it'd be nice if..., things that define... (ex: mediocrity), why taxes are good, why life is absurd, etc...

SUBJECTS: psychology, philosophy, religion, mythology, comparative literature, linguistics, history, archaeology, anthropology, sociology, criminology, education, economics, political science, comparative politics, international relations, peace/war studies, forensics, biology, zoology, genetics, neurology, nutrition, sleep studies, scent studies, sound studies, art studies, film, cinematography, photography, printmaking, metalworking, architecture, interior design, industrial design, graphic design, culinary art, food science...

OBJECTS: stickers, buttons, bouncy balls, balloons, silly putty, guitar pics, glow sticks, neon signs, inflatable pool rafts, fluorescent plastic-ware, tupperware, cutting boards, scissors, spatulas, salt & pepper shakers, fake fruit (especially grapes), plastic orange pill bottles, antique glass medicine bottles, blue glass, vases, mugs, tumblers, tiles, geodes, fool's gold, gold foil, match boxes, lighters, candles, cameos, class rings, talking watches, futons, minimalistic furniture, IKEA

COLLECTIONS: places, names, words, fortune-cookie fortunes, books, movies, movie tickets, old photographs, old cameras, rusty metal, (broken pieces of) reflectors, (broken pieces of) mirrors, mannequin parts, dolls, other toys, thimbles, teeth, googly eyes, bouncy balls, stickers, stencils, fake tattoos, wrapping paper, postcards, notebooks, rulers, pens, pencils, paper clips, paper, thumb tacks, other office supplies, old school notes, old maps, globes

ABANDONED STUFF: chernobyl, cars, junkyards, shacks, farms, graveyards, prisons, asylums, old-folks' homes, hospitals, schools, schoolbuses, playgrounds, carnivals, amusement parks, race tracks, warehouses, gas stations, transit stations, mailboxes, keys, couches, televisions, refrigerators, grocery lists, letters, notes, journals

DISLIKES: bullying, narcissism, arrogance, authority, intolerance, racism, sexism, agism, religionism, all those other bad isms, close-mindedness, unnecessary assumptions, all-encompassing statements, "universal" rules, rules in general, force, war, weapons, politics, conspicuous consumption, greed, extreme individualism (without regard for society), unfettered capitalism (without regard to society), people who try to be "cool", the nature of humanity and nature itself.......

FOODZ: thai food, chinese food, japanese food, cajun food, italian food, saaaalt, buffets, personalized meals, pasta, noodles, rice, salads, caesar dressing, italian dressing, sun-dried tomato vinaigrette, balsamic vinaigrette, croutons, cheese, salmon, celery & peanut butter, peanut-butter sandwiches, soups, bisques, creamy chowders, gumbo, curries, pineapple, kiwi, strawberries, raspberries, blueberries, scrambled eggs, flaky/layered biscuits, waffle house hash browns, ihop funny face pancakes, fries from gypsie's shiny diner, tortilla chips, cheeze-its!, buttery crackers, texas toast, cornbread, sweet potatoes, barbecue baked beans, baked lasagna, baked pasghetti, baked macaroni and cheese, corn pops, frosted flakes, snikerdoodles, chocolate chip cookies, semi-sweet chocolate chips, candied apples, cotton candy, italian soda, fu fu berry jones soda, grapefruit izze, lorina sparkling french berry lemonade, homemade lemonade, sweet iced tea, hot tea, chai, hot chocolate, mr. pibb, cold stone ice cream, dark chocolate, butterfingers, peanut m&ms, mr. goodbars, airheads, laffy taffy, big chewy sweet tarts, nerds, gum....

2008-11-13T23:38:00.002-05:00

oMGteYGAHEWDDD HGIOWFJ!!!!!!!!
THeRYES SOO CUUTUETEUTEU!!!

Free video chat by Ustream

2008-10-29T16:07:00.009-04:00

FLF 201: Cheb Khaled

khaled: site officiel
khaled: wikipedia
khaled: sound on sound
khaled: RFI musique
khaled: world music central
khaledmania
raï: wikipedia
world of raï
raï artists
raï algérien
aïcha: wikipedia
aïcha: translation 1
aïcha: translation 2
le jour viendra

Cheb Khaled, Aïcha:

Comme si je n'existais pas,
elle est passée à côté de moi
Sans un regard, reine de Saba,
j'ai dit, Aïcha, prends, tout est pour toi

Voici, les perles, les bijoux,
aussi l'or autour de ton cou
Les fruits, biens mûrs au goût de miel,
ma vie, Aicha si tu m'aimes!

J'irai où ton souffle nous mène,
dans les pays d'ivoire et d’ébène
J'effacerais tes larmes, tes peines,
rien n'est trop beau pour une si belle

Aïcha, Aïcha écoute-moi,
Aïcha, Aïcha t'en vas pas,
Aïcha, Aïcha regarde moi,
Aïcha, Aïcha réponds-moi

Je dirais le mots des poèmes,
je jouerais les musiques du ciel,
je prendrais les rayons du soleil,
pour éclairer tes yeux de reine

Oooh! Aïcha, Aïcha écoute-moi,
Aïcha, Aïcha t'en vas pas

Elle a dit: "Garde tes trésors,
moi, je vaux mieux que tout ça.
Des barreaux sont des barreaux même en or
Je veux les mêmes droits que toi
Et du respect pour chaque jour,
moi je ne veux que l'amour"

2008-10-09T01:36:00.002-04:00

Yaaay, SNL!

2008-10-08T23:09:00.011-04:00

Christopher Walken SNL!

2008-09-23T15:01:00.013-04:00

pour le français!
projet culturel: l'impressionnisme
un paysage de Degas

artcyclopedia: impressionism

artcyclopedia: degas

webmuseum: impressionism

webmuseum: degas

les grands peintres:impressionnisme

les grands peintres: degas

Metropolitan Museum of Art: impressionism

Metropolitan Museum of Art: degas

buzzle: impressionism

buzzle: degas

artchive: degas

beach scene: image only

beach scene: national gallery

beach scene: "teacher's notes"

degas landscapes: book preview

2008-09-16T15:00:00.006-04:00

"Sen. Kent Conrad chastises Bush for fiscal record:"

Worst president ever.

"Who's the Better Manager of the Economy, Republicans or Democrats?"

2008-09-04T03:52:00.021-04:00

PS241--THIRD WORLD...

What is the third world and why is it called that?

third world network

third world traveler

countries by GDP

countries by economic freedom

countries by percentage living in poverty

countries by human development index

human development index

UN human development indices

genuine progress indicator

gross international happiness

happy planet index

non-aligned movement

non-aligned movement--BBC

non-aligned movement--wikipedia

non-aligned news network

ARTICLES

NYT: Third World & Developing Countries

Third World diplomacy.

Is democracy possible in the third world?

Third World crushes its entrepreneurs.

Africa: Why most of the country remains poor.

Harvard International Review: Failed States

Foreign Policy: Failed States Index 2008

Denis O'Brien invests where other men fear to tread.

World Bank finds more people live in steep poverty.

An even poorer World.

What's your consumption factor?

Africa & Coca-Cola: Index of happiness?

Third World debt undermines development.

2008-09-01T03:30:00.002-04:00

example of negative side of capitalism

Anup Shah, Global Food Crisis 2008, GlobalIssues.org, Last updated: Sunday, August 10, 2008

2008-09-01T02:51:00.004-04:00

Notes on maturity that I want to remember, edited somewhat from a previous conversation/debate...

I feel that the view of maturity as “simply conforming to society” is merely an excuse for one to not care about the results of one's actions and to cut down on guilt. In fact, I'm not sure that "conforming to society" actually has all that much to do with maturity. Conformity can be a very cruel and immature trait when one is conforming to cruel and immature standards/customs, more so when one conforms without thinking. And although there are many ways of thinking about maturity, it seems to be more or less universally recognized as a positive attribute in places that have a similar word, and people who consider it a negative thing generally, to be blunt, seem to be self-centered assholes without empathy. For example, I would imagine most fraternity-slut-jerks who think it’s cool to jack off to naked strangers on girls gone wild might think “maturity” is a trait that only pathetic dorks would possess and that they should therefore make fun of.

There are many different aspects of maturity, but at the most basic level, beyond simple physical/cognitive maturation, it simply means respect… the understanding (which comes from interacting with and learning from other human beings) that other people have feelings. It is respect for other people as people, as other human beings with individual feelings, interests, relationships, personalities… not just objects at one’s personal disposal. For example, using strangers’ naked (or partially-clothed in fetish gear) bodies (or simply their feet or legs or lips) for one’s own sexual satisfaction (i.e. porn—of any sort) violates these people’s existence as human beings; it treats them as sex objects whose outer appearance is the only thing that matters. It’s highly disrespectful, disregards these individuals' humanity (despite whether they care or not), and is therefore immature.

One commonly given example of immaturity is the behavior of children, who often are very disrespectful and egocentric simply because they don’t yet understand the concept that other people have feelings. This is because they have not yet developed operational, reversible thinking, and so are immature, though through no fault of their own. However, if adults were to never grow out of such egocentrism (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Egocentrism), and continue to believe in peek-a-boo, the world would be a much more miserable place than it already is… without empathy, compassion, understanding, tolerance, care… I agree that children often possess some great characteristics, such as lightheartedness, creativity and innovation, that would be good for the world, but I think these traits have nothing to do with respect or maturity. One’s ability to enjoy playing with legos, doodling, or visiting a theme park really has nothing to do with the non-developmental sense of maturity.

2008-04-05T21:28:00.009-04:00

Everyone should have to see Why We Fight... sigh.
Why aren't these discussions focused on in the mainstream media?
It's ashame that the majority of the American public doesn't even know what's going on in their names. Our reputations are being decided by the lies and manipulation of a tiny, corrupt, unaccountable minority with a stranglehold on power. It's unjust, undemocratic, and tyrannical. Justice in this country is a joke. When the president decides he can do whatever he wants, we might as well be living in a monarchy.

2008-03-26T22:54:00.002-04:00

wominz in ze newz

powerful women & sex scandals

the media's bias against female presidential candidates

the pentagon fails to protect US troops from sexual abuse

2008-03-05T01:27:00.001-05:00

producing vs. consuming countries

is a much better distinction than

developed vs. developing countries

2008-03-04T23:42:00.001-05:00

I miss Kucinich :-(

2008-03-04T22:55:00.004-05:00

QWOTES I VANT TO REMEMBAR....

"The idea that you can merchandise candidates for high office like breakfast cereal - that you can gather votes like box tops - is... the ultimate indignity to the democratic process." --Adlai Stevenson

"Every two years the American politics industry fills the airwaves with the most virulent, scurrilous, wall-to-wall character assassination of nearly every political practitioner in the country - and then declares itself puzzled that America has lost trust in its politicians." --Charles Krauthammer

"Take our politicians: they're a bunch of yo-yos. The presidency is now a cross between a popularity contest and a high school debate, with an encyclopedia of cliches the first prize." --Saul Bellow

"Do you ever get the feeling that the only reason we have elections is to find out if the polls were right?" --Robert Orben

"When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I'm beginning to believe it." --Clarence Darrow

"During a campaign the air is full of speeches - and vice versa." --Author Unknown

"[U.S.] Democracy is being allowed to vote for the candidate you dislike least." --Robert Byrne

"When one may pay out over two million dollars to presidential and Congressional campaigns, the U.S. government is virtually up for sale. " --John Gardner

"The modern conservative is engaged in one of man's oldest exercises in moral philosophy; that is, the search for a superior moral justification for selfishness." --John Kenneth Galbraith

"The Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they have the management skills of celery. They're the kind of people who'd stop to help you change a flat, but would somehow manage to set your car on fire. I would be reluctant to entrust them with a Cuisinart, let alone the economy. The Republicans, on the other hand, would know how to fix your tire, but they wouldn't bother to stop because they'd want to be on time for Ugly Pants Night at the country club." --Dave Barry

"One ought to recognize that the present political chaos is connected with the decay of language, and that one can probably bring about some improvement by starting at the verbal end. If you simplify your English, you are freed from the worst follies of orthodoxy. You cannot speak any of the necessary dialects, and when you make a stupid remark, its stupidity will be obvious, even to yourself. Political language - and with variations this is true of all political parties, from Conservatives to Anarchists - is designed to make lies sound truthful and murder respectable, and to give an appearance of solidity to pure wind. One cannot change this all in a moment, but one can at least change one's own habits, and from time to time, one can even, if one jeers loudly enough, send some worn-out and useless phrase - some jackboot, Achilles' heel, hotbed, melting pot, acid test, veritable inferno or other lump of verbal refuse - into the dustbin where it belongs." --George Orwell

2008-03-01T03:15:00.002-05:00

Two of the best movies I've seen in a long time... well, ever...

http://www.therewillbeblood.com/
http://www.nocountryforoldmen.com/

No Country For Old Men made me want to read Cormac McCarthy's book, but I was kind of disappointed by the bit that I read; I by far preferred the movie (sorry McCarthy & English-professor-parents). Javier Bardem gave one of the best creepy bad guy performances I've ever seen, if not the best. That hair cut somehow managed to be extremely sinister even though normally it would just be kind of bizarre-looking. His solemn and creepy demeanor was perfectly combined with a bit of dry humor to create an immensely fascinating character. I didn't really know anything about the plot before going in, which I think was a good thing; not knowing what was going on half the time made it more exciting and interesting. I also really loved the pacing--it was kind of slow for a "cat & mouse" thriller, which I quite prefer, as it allows more time, space, and quietness for the tension to seep in, compared to your typical lightning-fast-filled-with-sensational-violence-action movie. Plus the scenery was just spectacular... serene and peaceful but also oppressively and terrifyingly desolate. The overall effect was chilling, which is my favorite reaction to a movie.

Same for There Will Be Blood, which is, I think, now part of my top 10, definitely top 20... chilling, haunting, unnerving, bewildering, mind-boggling; it left me with this kind of “whoa… I can’t believe that just happened” feeling. The score was incredible; it could be used in a film class… even when the camera was simply staring at a couple of mountains, or leisurely watching the characters silently walk across barren land, the soundtrack forcibly pulled you (or, me, at least) into the story, completely undistracted and uninterested in anything else at that moment, but still evoking this apprehensive and uneasy feeling towards the characters and plot unfolding before your eyes. And then of course there was Daniel Day Lewis, who’s now officially my favorite actor. He was perfect!! His voice, mannerisms, expressions, attitude, anger, humor, subdued evilness… His performance was one of the best I’ve ever seen, but the other actors all gave excellent performances as well… the fact that there was really only one significant female character didn’t even bother me. The dominant themes were really interesting as well—greed, wealth, work, capitalism, religion, love, friendship, trust, respect, exploitation… and the relationships and similarities that exist between seemingly conflicting ideas. And historically, with the present oil crisis, it’s interesting to see the how the industry first began. Yay! Movies!

2007-12-30T07:43:00.000-05:00

Robert Epstein argues in The Case Against Adolescence that "for the first time in human history, we have artificially extended childhood well past puberty. Simply stated, we are not letting our young people grow up. Through most of human history, our ancestors began to produce children shortly after puberty, just as the members of all nonhuman species do to this day. Whether we like the idea or not, our young ancestors must have been capable of providing for their offspring, defending their families from predators, cooperating with others, and in most other aspects functioning fully as adults. If they couldn't function as adults, their young could not have survived, which would have meant the swift demise of the human race. The fact that we're still here suggests that most young people are probably far more capable than we think they are. Somewhere along the line, we lost sight of--and buried--the potential of our teens."

To find out just how "infantilized" teens are today, Epstein and his colleague Diane Dumas "asked a hundred teens between thirteen and seventeen in seven locations around the United States... to complete a checklist of forty-two restrictions that adults--or at least adults who aren't incarcerated or in the military--virtually never face but that very young children face frequently.... The higher the score, the more restrictions one faces. If you're over eighteen, when was the last time you were given a 'time out' or sent to your room? When were you last forced to undergo medical treatment against your will? When did someone last confiscate your personal property or search your bedroom? When were you last spanked as a punishment for misbehaving? Not recently, I suspect. But our respondents scored surprisingly high on this scale. On average they had 'regularly or routinely' experienced more than twenty-six of these restrictions since they were thirteen, and seventy-four of the teens scored between twenty-two and forty (meaning that the distribution of scores was skewed toward the high numbers)....

"To find out how adults score on the infantilization scale, I administered it recently to twenty-five noninstitutionalized adults in the San Diego area, twenty-four United States Marines on active duty (at Camp Pendleton in Southern California), and thirty-two incarcerated felons (at a county prison in the San Diego area). One would think that military personnel--obligated to follow orders without question--and prisoners--stripped of most of their rights by the criminal justice system--would be far more encumbered than noninstitutionalized teens. But that's not what I found. Noninstitutionalized adults indeed scored near zero on the scale (2.3 out of a possible 42), but teens outscored prisoners and soldiers by a large margin (26.6 for teens vs. 14.6 for prisoners and 10.9 for soldiers). Even with these small samples, the differences in these scores were, from a statistical standpoint, highly significant. In other words, teens appear to be subjected to about twice as many restrictions as are prisoners and soldiers and to more than ten times as many restrictions as everyday adults."

Why is this bad? Well, for one reason, utilitarianism: "'Adolescent' is defined in modern society as a person in turmoil, and the toll that turmoil takes on our teens, our families, and our society is enormous. That's one reason we need to reexamine the nature and plight of adolescence, but there's another, less glamorous, but perhaps even more important reason: young people are capable of making great contributions to society, but they currently have virtually no way of being heard.... In times past, young people often accomplished great things; it's tough for them to do so in today's America."

Another reason is that this infantilization strips the rights of these individuals to which they are entitled, not only as American citizens but as sentient, rational human beings. As Albert Ellis writes in the forward to the book, "our contemporary disregard for the civil rights of young people is abysmal... their parents, teachers, and society are doing much harm and little good by over-restricting them."

2007-12-30T07:22:00.000-05:00

honeycomb vase

"The vase was conceived by Tomás Gabzdil Libertiny, a young Slovakian product designer. Eager to explore the relationship between design and nature, he settled upon beeswax as a suitable material and chose the vase as an appropriate object to make from it. 'Beeswax comes from flowers and, in the form of a vase, it ends up containing flowers before they die,' Libertiny says. 'It’s a beautiful story.'"

--NY Times 7th Annual Year in Ideas

2007-12-30T06:50:00.000-05:00

2007-12-17T02:59:00.000-05:00

2007-07-07T23:27:00.001-04:00

I love Yahoo Anwers!!!!!!!!1

Yahoo! AnswersPhilosophyPhotographyPsychology

2007-06-27T17:07:00.000-04:00

Well I guess I've talked a lot about this subject (relationships) recently... but I just joined "yahoo singles," and wanted to write about it. Mainly I joined just because I wanted to see what others said about themselves and what they want in a partner... not really to actually meet anyone. And I was definitely not expecting to find any amazing specimens of the male race, but I was expecting maybe a FEW males my age who were

a) mature (meaning respectful of women and people in general, not just interested in meaningless flirting and sex, and not party animals who think it's cool to get wasted all the time)
b) but not too serious about themselves (meaning they can be silly and wild like a 6 year old from time to time, while still retaining maturity, and having a sense of humility)
c) I dunno, that's it really

Well most of the guys on there were either...

a) Incredibly immature: the statistics are that "for a woman's profile having one picture attracts seven times more replies, three photos draws nine times as many replies and five photos encourages twelve times more replies than a profile without a photo; for a male profile, one photo attracts three times more replies, three photos draws four times as many replies and five photos encourages five times more replies than a profile without a photos." WHY DO MEN CARE SO MUCH ABOUT LOOKS! Ughhh!

b) If they were mature, they were a bit too mature and stuffy, and seemingly incapable of having fun or being silly....

c) Or they just had completely different values from me (ex: extremely christian and only looking for christians, or extremely conservative, meaning they enjoy hunting and war (there were SO many guys in the military!) and making decisions for women about their pregnancies)

d) There were so many... geeks! And geek is not the right word for it, because I love geeks; I am a geek, but these were... I don't really know the right word for them, nazi geeks? The kind of geek who thinks they're amazing and better than everyone else because they like manga or star wars or understand quantum physics. Don't get me wrong, I like nerds, I like guys who are smart and like stuff that most people make fun of, but I don't like them when they make fun of other people for not liking it...

Apparently until males are 30 (if even that) they're either at the maturity level of a 12 year old who just realized he has a functioning penis, a mature 60 year old who doesn't have a sense of humor, or they're just not very likable in general.

And for all the guys who do fit my standards... as the number of mature, intelligent, kind, funny females far outweighs the number of similar males... they're all taken!

And then there's just the simple problem of romantic attraction-- sometimes-- no matter how great a guy is--it's just not there.

I've always wanted to be with someone who I knew in my college-aged years, but that's looking increasingly impossible.

So, am I picky or something? I think my standards are very fair and pretty easy to reach, and I think most males have the same standards as me, despite the fact that many don't live up to them. And whether my standards are high or not, there's no way I'm lowering them, after all that I've been through. So I guess I'll have to just get used to being single and remember that it's better than being with a jerk.

2007-06-27T17:05:00.000-04:00

WHoooowo I'm 20 yEaahhh blaaaaaahh blah blahe I feel exactly the same. Except now I have contacts because my vision is worse.

2007-06-10T04:21:00.000-04:00

Oh, but one more thing, dearest blog, before I go to bed and lay there fore a while because I'm not sleepy... this is a good show: america's cutest puppies

2007-06-10T04:12:00.001-04:00

Holy crap it's 4 in the morning.

2007-06-10T04:10:00.000-04:00

This seems neat... I don't fully understand it yet, but it seems like a fun thing to try, as I seem to have completely forgotten how to be silly and carefree like I used to be...

InterPlay

2007-06-10T03:18:00.001-04:00

interesting study on cops, obedience, and immorality... proving, in my opinion, that humans are basically an evil species

2007-06-10T02:32:00.000-04:00

I was just reading over the last post I wrote (that wasn't a quiz), and realized that the comments about paris hilton aren't quite accurate... because just the other day I was talking about whether she was still in jail and what was going on.. so I do kindof care about whether paris is in jail... because I feel strongly that she should be. Stars shouldn't be able to go around doing illegal things without being punished simply because they're rich and famous. The average jane/joe would probably have been thrown in jail (at least in southern us states) immediately after being caught drunk driving... not after having been caught drunk driving and THEN being caught driving without a license. The average jane/joe could not get away with being publicly caught snorting cocaine PLUS being caught drunk driving (underage) with traces of coke in their car and not immediately be sent to jail (lindsay lohan might not even go to jail after all that). My ex and I were thrown in jail for having alcohol in the car and being underage. We weren't even driving drunk, or endangering anyone! And, though it's a pretty weak argument, there was no way cops could prove that it was ours. What if an abusive relative planted it? Or the cops themselves? And supposedly in this country you're innocent until proven guilty. HELL NO, that's now how it is. Maybe our justice system is better than a lot of places, but that doesn't mean it's good. That's how I generally feel about this country. It may be better than a lot of places, but it's still a shithole, and I am NOT proud to be a member of it. Though I admit I probably would not be proud to be a member of most countries.

But a better example of the horror this society is becoming is more like fasion "do's" and "dont's." Like in magazines that show what celebrities are wearing and make fun of some random outfits... The fact that we care so much about what celebrities are wearing is disgusting. And I can honestly admit that I don't give a damn if madonna or some other unimportant person wore shoes that didn't match. The fact that we care so much about the dating habits of these people is disgusting. I can honestly say I don't care if jennifer aniston is going out with some new dude, just like I don't really care about the dating habits of any stranger. And it's depressing to me that others do.

Some people may say, well if you don't care about it, then how do you know? Because I can't escape it! It's everywhere! When you checkout at the grocery store, "Katie Holmes looks mad!" or "Is Angelina pregnant?" Who cares! If she's pregnant let her be pregnant, the whole world doesn't need to know! Yet they do? If you are literate and go to stores, you most likely know some useless and private information about some celebrity, at least in america. And, frankly, my reaction is, WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!?

I'm hungry.

2007-06-08T07:12:00.001-04:00

You Are a Ham Sandwich

You are quiet, understated, and a great comfort to all of your friends.
Over time, you have proven yourself as loyal and steadfast.
And you are by no means boring. You do well in any situation - from fancy to laid back.

Your best friend: The Turkey Sandwich

Your mortal enemy: The Grilled Cheese Sandwich

What Kind of Sandwich Are You?

But! I love grilled cheese! And ham is disgusting!

2007-06-08T07:00:00.001-04:00

You Are 0% Capitalist, 100% Socialist

You see a lot of injustice in the world, and you'd like to see it fixed.
As far as you're concerned, all the wrong people have the power.
You're strongly in favor of the redistribution of wealth - and more protection for the average person.

Are You a Socialist or Capitalist?

AAahHAihohaHaEIOeh!!!!!!!!

2007-06-08T05:03:00.000-04:00

OHMYGOHGOHGODODOODGHODGHDO!!!!!!!1

It's taken me so long to figure out how to sign into this! Ugh! I hate google mail!

And my computer's broken so I have to use my mom's.

I had so many things that I wanted to write about but at first couldnt get on a computer, and then when I could I couldn't remember how to sign in. And now I don't remember any of them.

I hate my life (but I'm taking a drawing class so maybe it will get better... don't worry I'm depressed but not suicidal).

And I hate medicine. It makes me crazy. So I have to be either non-med-crazy (depressed and angry, but sometimes happy and able to communicate with others) or I have to be med-crazy (not depressed, not as angry, instead numb, with no memory or ability to think or speak).

I hate my brain. Ugh.

In a google image search for crazy...

I hate human beings. Especially the ones that fry their skin and their hair to make others like them. I hate even more the fact that a lot of people do like them because they fry their hair and their skin. Probably the majority of guys my age in america think these girls are hot... mainly because they look like they don't have many standards that need to be met to sleep with someone. I hate that this society revolves around sex. The hippy era opened up some good things in the sexual revolution but many more bad things. But what's worse is that these people don't even realize how ridiculous they are, these people obsessed with sex and appearance. PHYSICAL PLEASURE DOESNT MATTER. PEOPLE THINKING YOU'RE HOT OR "COOL" DOESN'T MATTER. That's not going to make anyone truly happy. What matters, I think for almost every human being, in terms of happiness, is love, support, and most importantly contentment with one's self--in order to genuinely care about anyone else and have them genuinely return that feeling, you first have to care about yourself. Yes there are plenty of people out there who are promiscuous and seem to be happy, but I'll bet you... um... a whole lot that deep down, they're miserable, just terrified to admit it... to themselves or anyone else.

I watched one of those entertainment news shows after the "real" news, and I felt like I was on some alien planet. What is this place! UAuUGhgh! Why is it so important or special that Paris Hilton is going to jail? I can understand how it would be entertaining or funny or satisfying for maybe 5 minutes at most... but we don't need to be reminded of it every single day! She's in jail what else is there to say!??!

If you ever want to be freaked out go here.

That was utterly incoherent and rambling on and on and probably didn't make much sense, but the point of it wasn't to convince anyone of anything or to sound like I have a brain, the point of it was to vent cus man, I needed to.

2007-04-30T03:20:00.000-04:00

I can't... talk anymore. I can't formulate words in my brain, I can't come up with them. It's like there's a wall in my head that all my thoughts are stuck behind. The wall is my mouth. I can't get my thoughts out of my mouth and make them sound right. I used to be mildly eloquent... I used to be witty. Now I don't even know how to tell a joke. What happened to me? I don't get it. I want the old me back. Im not ingrid anymore. I'm not miranda either. I don't know who the hell I am. But I don't like her. I feel like all the life was sucked out of me. I feel dead and empty inside. My personality is all dried up. I don't know how to wet it again. I miss being passionate and silly and carefree. I miss knowing people and having fun. That's mainly what I miss... people. I didn't even know very many. But now I only have a couple friends. All because I isolated myself to be with someone else... someone who didnt really even care about me. Now all I have to keep me going are pretty things. But I have no one to watch them with... no one who cares. Both about me and beauty. I don't know if I ever did. There was one person who cared. At sarah lawrence. But I ruined that. Just like the rest of my life.

2007-04-30T03:12:00.000-04:00

I saw american beauty today. And it was... well... beautiful. It made me remember how much I appreciate the simple beauty of things, something I've been forgetting lately. The bag scene is one of the most beautiful images I've ever seen. I wish I could just dream forever, beautiful things. Like that.

I wish there were more people who appreciated those things. I know there are plenty out there… I just wish… that I knew them.

I've also forgotten about this, which I need to keep doing. It really does make me feel ten times better.

2007-04-18T19:44:00.001-04:00

2006-12-30T04:44:00.000-05:00

Once you fall, do you ever get back up?
I was looking at some old posts, and evidently once I fell into depression, I generally never really got out of it...
I guess maybe my fall had a lasting, damaging effect on me.
Maybe it will get better as I mature... but I kind of doubt it.
Sigh.

Saturday, March 27, 2004

If school were a person, I would shoot it. I would shoot it 22 times, because 22 is a satisfying number. Then, I would proceed to stab it, twice--once in the chest, and then in the ass. Lastly, I would put it in a cell filled with piss and let it slowly dissolve in the piss like it does to students. I'm going to boycott it. In fact, I'm going to boycott not only school, but all of society. I can't take this place anymore. I think I've finally gone insane.Now, back to my napping on the floor, and looking at random pages in the encyclopedia.

posted by ingrid at 9:15 pm

2006-12-30T02:26:00.000-05:00

Today we visited my dad's brother, his wife, and my Grandma Eleanor.

She didn't recognize me.

My mom, aunt, and I walked in to greet her and she recognized my aunt since she lives close by and visits often. But my mom and I hadn't visited her in a long time; it had been maybe 9 or 10 months for me. She acted as if she was waiting for my aunt to introduce my mom and me, and when my aunt asked if she knew who we were, she looked puzzled, contemplated for a bit, and then declared that she wasn't sure. Aunt Carol whispered in her ear that I was her grandaughter. Her icy blue eyes opened wide up and she said in disbelief, "You're kidding! No way, that can't be! That's not my grandaughter! I don't know this person!" Looking inquisitively to me, she asked, "Who are you!?" I answered, "Miranda," and she gasped and looked stunned and said, "Miranda! Ohhhh, it's my little grandbaby! Ohh you've gotten so big!" She hugged me 3 or 4 times. Then my mom reintroduced herself and she seemed to maybe recall her, or to be decently hiding the fact that she didn't. My dad she seemed to remember fairly well, saying cheerfully when she saw him, "Oh, is that one of my boys!?"

I am permanently about 8 or 10 in my grandma's eyes.

She has dementia, and I knew it was getting worse, but I did not expect that she wouldn't recognize me.

She reopened her presents about 5 or 6 times each (while we were there), and each time was pleasantly surprised and just as excited and curious, sometimes more, than when she first opened them. And the different comments we made about the presents produced different reactions out of her. Some jokes made her laugh hard, giggle, tease us back, and seem to be more excited about the present; other jokes she sort of smiled but seemed to have no clue what we were talking about or what was going on. Throughout the time we visited with her, she kept saying with an uncomfortable look on her face that she wasn't sure where she was, asking us what building she was in, and was this where she lived. We would tell her that this was her building, her room was just one floor up, and she would say "ooooh," but not very sincerely, as if she were just saying it to be polite, but still had no idea where she was or what we were talking about. And then 5 minutes later she would ask us again where she was.

The brain is interesting as it degrades; sometimes it can produce a laugh, but mostly terrible terrible gloom.

A few days ago we visited my mother's father and his second wife, Peggy, who is slightly worse off than my father's mother. Her dog had just died, whom she absolutely adored and obsessed over. She would follow it around constantly, and if she couldn't see or find it, she would ask in her heavy southern drawl, "Where is Foxy?" She would continually pester the poor thing, talking to her like a baby. She claimed that cement was bad for the dog's legs, and wouldn't let it go out on the front porch. After the dog had died, when we visited a few days ago, one of the first things she said was, "Now, where is Foxy?" Grandpa Johnnie told her that she'd gone up to heaven. Her previously neutral expression immediately deteriorated as if she was just reminded that the rest of the world had been destroyed and all of her loved ones were gone. Other times her memory seemed to be as clear as day and she would say repeatedly, looking emptily down at the floor, "That was a good dog, a good, good dog, just like a person."

And then there were the dolls. All over the house, in every corner you could find. When she was more capable she would make clothes for her little doll babies and dress them up. When we visited she was particularly attached to one doll in particular, a little baby with a pink pacifier. She carried it around with her the whole time, talking to it as if it were a helpless five year old. She stared longingly and sentimentally in its eyes and reassuringly said, "yep, yeeep yep yep sweetheart, that's right sugar, I know, I know," and then pressed it up against her chest as if it had just told her its deepest secret and tenderly caressed the back of its plastic head. She got up and walked towards the door saying that the doll wanted to look under the house. She went outside, looked around the house with the doll, and then came back in as if everything was perfectly normal, lovingly giggling and shaking her head about the doll wanting to go outside, as if she were teasing a child of her own.

When we visited a few months ago she told us that there were people in the back guest room, and that she didn't like them being there, it was time for them to go, and Johnnie better go check on them and tell them to leave. It turned out that she was talking about some pictures of their family or friends that were in the room, so Grandpa Johnnie hid them, but she still kept talking about them. He said that she would often pick up some of the myriad of pictures of friends and family around the house and start having conversations with them. Some of them she would get mad at because they were sassing her and she'd tell them to get out and order Johnnie to get them out of the house, so he hid them under the couch when she was in the bathroom.

And then there was the television. When my mom's sister once visited them, they were all watching the weather, and Peggy started saying how silly that weather man was, that he had asked her to do the newscast one day, and that he was such a character. And she was serious too. She had actually talked to the weatherman, through the tv, and he had asked her, and only her, to do the weather for him.

When she talks about things, sometimes you can get a general grasp of what she's trying to say from the jumbled, unconnected pile of words she throws at you, even though it usually has nothing to do with the current conversation. But other times you have absolutely no clue what she's talking about, and you just nod and say "Mmmhmm, yeahh!" and smile, and she smiles back thinking that you understand her.

I wonder what's going on inside their brains. I wish I could hear all their thoughts and how they're connected or more importantly not connected. I wish I could see inside their brains and understand what a lack of chemicals or a decaying nerve end means and how it affects outer actions. And I also wish I could get to the age of 22 and stay there forever.

2006-12-30T02:16:00.000-05:00

Everything, no matter how small, big, or seemingly boring, possesses some visually stimulating element, no matter how tiny, whether it’s a sliver of rust or simply a beautiful color.

I've been playing with real cameras! 35 mm cameras! Non-digital cameras! And I love it!

You can control everything! You can control the f stop, the focus, the clarity, and the shutter speed! My crappy nikon coolpix is like a camera for toddlers compared to this. You can't do squat. Heehee I like the word squat. There's no such thing as focus on that camera. Though I must admit it does work better for blurry night shots, which I love. So I guess it's allright.

I love having my pictures developed and being able to hold them all in my hands rather than just looking at them on a screen. And, needless to say, the resolution is much better than digital prints.

And I have a macro lens! AAAAAAAH! And a telephoto lens, and a wide-angle lens, and I want every kind of lens and filter there is! I LOVE IT!

But I wish it weren't so damn expensive! UGH!

2006-12-28T01:45:00.000-05:00

Depression is Not a Moral Weakness.
It Has a Biological Basis.

2006-12-28T01:13:00.000-05:00

Lithium, a naturally occurring mineral-like sodium, was found to have effects on mood problems in the 1940’s. It has been the main medication for Bipolar Disorder (formerly "manic-depressive disorder") for many years. Lithium is still the best researched medication for this condition; no other medication has been shown to be superior in controlling depression, suicidal thoughts, or long-term mood stability. It also has been shown to decrease anger and sudden impulse decisions in people who do not have bipolar disorder.

Many people worry that lithium is one of psychiatry's "Big Guns", something we use for patients with really severe mental illnesses. They think, "Hey, I'm not that sick", and conclude that lithium is not right for them.

They don't know that lithium, in lower doses, is used in plain depression (not bipolar, not severe). In fact, for depression that hasn't fully responded to an antidepressant, one research group calls it "Step 1A" -- the thing to do, in some cases, before switching to another antidepressant.

Wayne Drevets' group published a finding in Nature about five years ago that in a part of the pre-frontal cortex of bipolar patients or patients with familial recurring unipolar depression, there was almost a 40% reduction in the amount of gray matter. That was a remarkable finding that you have such a reduction in a discrete part of brain. We spoke to him about our lithium findings and asked him to reanalyze the data. He had a small group of patients who had been treated with lithium for a long time and they did not show the brain atrophy compared with the bipolar patients. Interestingly all of the patients with unipolar depression, whether or not they had been treated with antidepressants, still showed the atrophy. That was a suggestion that bipolar treatments might have a protective effect. A couple of other studies since then have compared lithium-treated patients with untreated patients. They showed that the lithium-treated patients have the increase in gray matter, suggesting that lithium is causing the increase. If that is the case, lithium has a neurotrophic [nourishing to neurons] effect.

http://www.psycheducation.org/depression/meds/lithium.html

2006-12-27T01:38:00.000-05:00

i love philippe jusforgues
his art is amazingly absurd.

2006-12-27T00:48:00.000-05:00

http://www.npr.org/templates/dmg/dmg.php?prgCode=FA&showDate=02-Aug-2006&segNum=1&mediaPref=RM&getUnderwriting=1
Etgar Keret, a best-selling author in Israel whose books have also been published in the United States, talks about recent events in the Middle East. Keret collaborated with Palestinian author Samir El-Youssef for the book Gaza Blues. Keret contributed a collection of short stories and El-Youssef, a novella.

http://www.npr.org/templates/dmg/dmg.php?prgCode=FA&showDate=02-Aug-2006&segNum=2&mediaPref=RM&getUnderwriting=1
Palestinian author, journalist and literary critic Samir El-Youssef was born in a refugee camp in Lebanon. He now lives in London, and has collaborated with his friend, Israeli writer Etgar Keret, on a book, Gaza Blues. El-Youssef provides his views on recent events in the Middle East.

Interesting NPR interviews with a well-known Jewish writer and a well-known Palestinian writer who are friends. Interesting perspectives on the midle-eastern conflicts, democracy, identity, and literature. If you listen to it... listen to all of it! Both interviews are about 20 minutes each, but are very interesting and beneficial to hear!

(links found from this page)

2006-12-16T01:14:00.000-05:00

Bond Theme Song

Composed by Monty Norman.

WOoooOOwooWooowww........

I wish I could still play the paino.... sigh.

2006-12-15T22:30:00.000-05:00

Casino Royale Beginning

AAAAAAAAAAAH! I saw Casino Royale for a second time and it was even better. I love this part! It's so amazing! It gives me a warm fuzzy feeling inside...

2006-12-14T22:23:00.000-05:00

Mad World- Gary Jules

I'm obsessed with this song. It's perfect for the way I feel right now.

lyrics - mad world

2006-12-14T20:54:00.000-05:00

I would like to kill myself.
But I don't have the motivation.

It's so cold.
I'm never warm.

2006-12-13T22:16:00.000-05:00

http://www.awesomelibrary.org/MiddleEastConflict.html
Interesting and detailed summary of the Israel/Palestine crazyness.

The whole thing is terribly depressing. Both sides have done and continue to do horrible things to each other, both are right and wrong, and neither are willing to compromise. Both countries will destroy each other until they grow up and are reasonable and responsible.

I don't think that can happen. It's a shame.

And whoever placed Israel where it is... OhA&*#!yiEt76ri*Q%*H! WHAT THE HELL!!!!!

A Jewish nation surrounded by Muslim countries!?!?!? AND a Jewish nation on holy land that is deeply, deeply valued to Jews, Muslims, AND Christians! Jerusalem should not be soley under Jewish, Muslim, or Christian control! It should be international land, with no national religion!

Is the UN retarded? Who came up with that? It's one of the dumbest things I've ever seen in my life.

Yes, there should be a Jewish nation, but jesus fucking christ!, not surrounded by Muslim nations, and not claiming Jerusalem as Jewish land!

Ugh! I hate the world!

2006-12-13T01:38:00.000-05:00

iloveegg video (watch it!!!):
http://media1.gkko.com/245/eggs.swf

2006-12-10T18:49:00.000-05:00

--Barry Lorne

2006-12-09T01:51:00.000-05:00

i smell

2006-12-08T00:44:00.000-05:00

new blog: http://theetiquette.blogspot.com/

2006-12-07T19:49:00.000-05:00

BOWLING ETIQUETTE

Who Bowls First
When there are two people in the lanes on either side of your bowler, the general rule is the first bowler up bowls first. If there are any questions as to who bowls first, the bowler to the right bowls first.

Be Ready to Bowl
Once a bowler is lined up in his/her stance and ready to bowl — he/she needs to bowl. Bowlers cannot knock down the pins by staring at them. They have to throw the ball down the lane at them. It is easy for bowlers to get into their stance and take too much time in getting their feet, hands, knees and body in the exact position. Teach your bowlers not to rush into their stance, approach and delivery. However, it is important to teach them to get into their stance and deliver the ball as efficiently as possible. This will keep the game moving and not annoy other bowlers and teammates.

Be Considerate
Keep it simple. Teach your bowlers to always be considerate toward their teammates and other bowlers in the lanes on either side and of them and in the bowling area. Once your athletes understand this concept, they will learn to respect their teammates, other bowlers and adapt an attitude of good sportsmanship that will remain with them throughout their bowling days.

Athlete Readiness

While participating in bowling, the athlete will exhibit sportsmanship and etiquette at all times.
Demonstrates competitive effort while bowling at all times.
Takes turns with other team members.
Selects and uses the same ball throughout the game.
Waits for bowlers on adjacent lanes (one lane right or left of athlete) to finish before bowling.
Bowls cooperatively and competitively; cheers fellow teammates.
Maintains knowledge of own score.
Helps teammates with their scores.

Demonstrates Etiquette

Athlete puts forth maximum effort during games.
Consistently obeys the rules of the game.
Exhibits appropriate manners while bowling at all times.
Ready to bowl when it is his/her turn.
Avoids wasting time, standing on the lane.
Allows bowler on the right to bowl first, if both bowlers are ready to bowl at the same time.
Stays in approach area and steps back off the approach area after making the delivery.
Stays seated until his/her turn to bowl.
Insures that no bowlers are on the lane on each side before stepping onto approach.
Uses another player's bowling ball, towel or resin only with permission.
Controls temper at all times.
Waits until the pin-setting machine has completed its cycle before rolling the ball.
Calls for assistance if ball does not return or pin lies on deck.
Always keeps refreshments out of the pit area.
Observes common courtesy toward other bowlers at all times.

Coaching Tips

Sit bowlers in pit area in proper sequence to make it easier for them and coach to know who is up next.
If automatic scoring is available bowlers should be taught to watch the overhead screen for indication it is their time to bowl; i.e., name appears or is highlighted.
Discuss bowling etiquette, such as congratulating opponent after each game, win or lose; controlling temper and behavior at all times; waiting for one's turn; and always using your own ball.

2006-11-24T18:36:00.000-05:00

SAN-X CHEESE FAMILY!!!

Dad: 10 years old, emmental cheese. He is the pillar of the family and built the house. He loves his wife and never gets mad at her. He loves to cook, and cheese fondue is his favorite dish; he also likes red wine. His favorite phrase is "let's forget it."

Mom: Soft cheese. She is careless and carefree but also charming. She was very popular when she was young, especially among males. She and her husband get along very well and she is a good housewife.

Chi-Brother: The eldest son, 6pcs cheese. He is nasty and likes to show off. Although he is the eldest son, he is the trouble maker in the family. He always bullies Blue. He was a triad group leader but quit.

Plain: The second son, 6 pcs cheese. He's modest and quite the opposite of his older brother. He is so kind that when he finds somebody in need, he will help without doubt.

Blue: The third son, 6 pcs cheese. He is cowardly and often the victim of bullies, including Chi-Brother. He always feels lonely and cries when alone.

Kurin: The fourth son, 6 pcs cheese. He admires Chi-Brother very much because he is so curious about the world. He hates the strawberry cream on his head because it seems too childish. He wants Chi-Brother's white cream instead.

Guran: The eldest daughter, 6pcs cheese. She is a strong-minded and naughty tomboy. Her dream is to open a cake shop.

Nuts: The second daughter, 6 pcs cheese. She is spoiled because everybody loves her. Her favorite family members are Plain and Grandma Yogurt.

Baby Cheese Chan: A new born girl who cannot speak yet but always smiles.

Grandpa Blue Cheese: Gorgonzola. He is very nice and loves his grandsons very much. However, he sometimes mistakes their names.

Grandma Yogurt: Yogurt. She is very kind grandma. She is suffering from bad blood circulation that makes her feel cold all the time. But after her grandsons gave her a pink cap she felt better. Her hobby is knitting.

And many other members!

2006-11-24T16:38:00.000-05:00

SAN-X!!!!!!!!

AFRO KEN: "Ken" means dog in Japanese. Afro Ken is a dog with a rainbow afro and a spunky personality. He is innocent and blameless and always in a good mood. He is always willing to try new things. Afro Ken is attracted to objects that look like he does. His hair changes to look like these things as he gets close to them. There is an Afro Ken Family Tree with other dog characters who have outrageous names, such as Techno Ken, Funky Ken, Lord Ken, Super Afro Ken, and Normal Ken. Unlike the others, Normal Ken does not have wild hair. "As the name suggests, Afro Ken has a rainbow-colored afro that can change colors."--www.mochimo.com

MAMEGOMA: "Mamegoma" means bean sesame in Japanese. They are seen in a variety of different colors, including white, solid blue, solid pink, pink and white, blue and white, light brown with dark brown stripes, light brown with dark brown spots, and black and white. The seals are often depicted as being small enough (12 cm) to live in a common goldfish bowl , usually with a few ice cubes to keep the water nice and cool. They've also been shown in advertisements and merchandise in bath tubs, relaxing on a wheel in a hamster cage, etc. They are also seen in the presence of random items such as rubber ducks, coffee mugs, edamame (soybeans), and cheese slices.

NYAN NYAN NYANKO: Nyanko for short. "Nyan" is the Japanese onomatopoeia for a cat's meow and "ko" connotates youth. They are small kittens that enjoy mimicking various items, generally edible items. They can usually be seen posing from such comestibles ranging from bakery items to fast foods. However, Nyankos ask not to be eaten by those who may find them. Apart from that, they may also appear as everyday items, such as toys, school supplies, or household necessities. The Nyanko character lends people an idea of what sort of items can be found and are important within Japanese society. Additionally, Nyankos are often easily bored and can sometimes be seen fleeing from their place in the disguise in order to explore newer schemes of costuming. Nyan Nyan Nyanko often comes in themed sets, among these being: Nyanko Matsuri (festival), Nyanko Bakery, Nyanko Cafe, Nyanko Onsen (hot spring) and so forth.

RELAKKUMA: Also called Relaxuma, he is a brown bear who lives in the house of an office lady named Kaoru. Rilakkuma, true to his name, enjoys relaxing so much to the point that he despises standing up and is often depicted as lying down while sleeping, watching television, listening to music, relaxing in a bath, or eating his favorite foods (which include omelettes, dumplings, pancakes, and pudding). There are sometimes obstacles which stand in his way of relaxing--most notably Korilakkuma, a smaller, younger and mischievous white bear, and Kiiroi Tori, a yellow chicken which often tries to pester Rilakkuma.

TAREPANDA: "Tare" means lying on the tummy in Japanese, fitting for this lazy panda who gets around by rolling (at 2.75 meters per hour, according to company literature). Hikaru Suemasa, creator of TarePanda is said to have been inspired by becoming fatigued and laying down to rest after many attempts at drawing the character. After this she created a lazy panda lying on the ground. San-X believed these products were successful because they were released shortly after the Asian financial crisis of autumn 1997, a time when many people in Japan were facing layoffs. "Many office workers felt exhausted thinking about the dark cloud hanging over the economy, which had grown unhindered until that time," said Kenji Sone of San-X.

AMAGURICHAN: "Amaguri," which means sweet chesnut, is a popular snack in Asia. Red was chosen as Amagurichan's color to match his image as a chesnut. He is always energetic and impatient, and if people don't eat him fast enough he runs away. His favorite phrases are "eat me" and "peel my skin."

KOGEPAN: Kogepan is from a famous bakery shop in Hokkaido, Japan. Kogepan was suppose to be a very popular Japanese red bean bread, so special was this bread that only 20 were sold each day! However, an accident happened and Kogepan emerged from the oven burnt and hard. Ever since that day, Kogepan walked around bitter and dejected, always thinking that the other "pretty breads" were laughing and jeering at him. He was jealous of all the other beautiful white buns around him. So, he left home and went on a smoking and drinking binge. Kogepan drinks milk, but to bread buns, milk is like beer. After 2 days, Kogepan came to his senses. He returned home to the bakery where he was born and began reading a self-help book titled "How to become a delicious bread." Although Kogepan felt that he was disliked because he was different, he tried to make the best of his situation. He became good friends with other burnt breads and can often be seen drinking milk with them. There are a number of other characters (breads) in the panya with Kogepan, including ichigopan (strawberry bread), kireipan (beautiful bread), kuriimupan (a burnt cream bread), and Sumipan, a bread even more burnt than Kogepan.

MIKANBOUYA: A mandarin orange who likes candy and dislikes cold weather. Though he is sensitive to cold, he wants to be a frozen mandarin orange, so is trying to overcome his sensitivity, though he always fails. Nevertheless, he remains positive and persistant, never giving up and working towards his goals persistently. He was created to encourage hard workers not to give up, to reach their goals, and to inspire optimism.

He has several interesting friends. Yuzu-chan, a yuzu orange, likes to take baths, and wants to live a happy life. Sudachi-chan, a species of mandarin orange that is juicy and sour, is cool-headed and won't do anything without purpose. Mr. Orange is cheerful, and although he doesn't speak the same language, he always encourages MikanBouya. The grapefruit sisters are twins (one with blue eyes, one with pink_ and are always nice to MikanBouya. Lemon-san has nothing to worry about and is waiting for his job everyday. House Mikan is an orange cultivated in a greenhouse and is self-centered and cowardly. Dekopon is House Mikan's older brother and is aggressive and always unreasonable.

BEER-CHAN: A fairy who loves beer. She looks very young, but is actually old enough to drink. She drinks in big gulps, and cheers anytime anywhere. The foam on her head comes off when she is surprised. Her specialty is quickly eating green soybeans.

WANROOM: a family of household items. Their slogan is "Let's enjoy Wanroom life!" One character is tissue-san, who was developed to encourage Japanese schoolchildren to use tissues when they got sick. Wanchannel is a television, Inusofa a couch, Wanzouko a fridge, Wancup a mug, Wantoaster a toaster, Wanglebed a bed, Wanlight a lamp, Wanslipper, Wanshower, Wancushion, and more...

YOGURT-KUN: A little yogurt baby who helps a constipated and uncomfortable rabbit make adorable little poos so that he can go about his happy little rabbit business. He enjoys sitting in milk, and having honey poured over him.

NAGOMIMAKURI: A friendly spirit that is often mistaken for a salamander, whale, or jellyfish. She lives in clean rivers and deep in the forest. Her main features are her soft form, the way she moves around (rolling here and there slowly), and leading a lazy life in nature.

2006-11-02T22:29:00.000-05:00

There is no such thing as truth. People can say whatever they want. Because of that, there is no way to trust anyone, or prove anything.

I hate this world and everyone in it. Well, that's not true, the world is beautiful, but humans ruin it. The earth is a beautiful planet, but all we do is destroy it. All we do is destroy each other and hate each other. There is no such thing as love. There can be no love without trust. All people love is themselves, no one else. People pretend to love others only so they can love themselves.

If you can be happy in this world of horror, you are despicable. If you can be happy while children are starving, being raped, and being beaten; while spouses are being abused, psychologically and physically, by those who supposedly love them; while innocent animals are abused to make money, abused for "fun," abused for the sake of humankind; while humans claim they're not animals; while so many good people have nothing and bad or unexceptional people have everything; while those with everything want more and take it from those with nothing; while people kill others of different religious views; while humans use up world supplies of natural resources; while humans think they control the world; while some countries destroy others if they disagree about how to run a country; while guns and nuclear bombs exist; while humans do everything they do...

If you can be happy in hell... then you deserve to be dead and made miserable.

We are in hell. We should all be miserable or dead.

2006-03-30T16:54:00.000-05:00

Andy Warhol and Salvador Dali!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Eabheahbah!

2006-03-27T20:01:00.000-05:00

So I watched Party Monster last night... one of the best movies that ever existed... and it made me start thinking about death n' stuff. The movie is about drugs and drug addicts and drug addicts who die. So I was thinking about what would happen when I die (not from drugs, of course).

And assuming there will just be a whole lot of nothingness... just like welll....nothing... it really was kindof depressing. And it's weird because I've never really felt this way. I've pretty much always accepted death as a part of life and not really thought about it... but just having everything thrown away... no people, no movies, no books, no ideas, no opinions, no thoughts, just nothing... after having so much.. I dunno...

I think for the first time in my adult life I'm actually scared of death.

I was imagining suicide...
It's always been a sortof vague plan that once I start to decompose I'd do something to kill myself.. but I was thinking what if I was happy and didnt want to die... simple... I'd just not kill myself... but then I would eventually die... and if I was happy that would well... just be really depressing. And I know I would be dead and most likely wouldnt know it... but just the thought of like dying someday... and everything just being gone... is really depressing.

idunno... yeah.
im going to go eat now.

2006-02-25T07:11:00.000-05:00

So. I just read the best issue of Psychology Today ever (april 2006). It's about "the hidden side of happiness." It was really interesting, and I suggest it for anybody! Anyway the main article that got me writing was about gratefulness, and it's effects on the grateful person. The article explains how it's been proven that for most people being genuinely grateful day after day makes you happier and more positive. And even though a positive outlook is often seen as cheesy or lame (I know I've been that negative cynic) it does make you much happier. It's practically a necessity of happiness! So this article suggested for those miserable ingrateful bastards out there to keep a "gratitude journal," and every day write one or two things that you're thankful for. It says you "begin to feel a greater sense of connectedness to the world, and the differences are noticed by others." Being thankful helps you focus on the good stuff in life rather than all the things going wrong; what you have rather than what you don't... and hey, who wouldn't want that!? "Your self-esteem is bolstered when you say, 'Hey, people have done things for me.'" Anyway I totally and completely believe in this. I used to be entirely unappreciative and self-pitying, until I realized how god damn lucky I am. And ever since I've known that I'm one lucky little punk, I've been a hell of a lot happier and more content!

So, that said... I'm going to start a "gratitude journal..." but perhaps with a better name...

2006-02-21T07:16:00.000-05:00

God I love madlibs.... Here's a very good story:

Once upon a time, there was a sloppy knight named Pudintane, who, by his valiant morality, saved the kingdom from the hot dragon and threw up the princess in the nick of time. He rode his bumpy penguin from the ghetto mountain upon which the kingdom was built, journeying into the unknown. He was fed-up and did not stop for fear the dragon would wallop them all.

By and by, he came to a giant tomato which blocked his path. He stopped and snowed lustfully to himself. Then, summoning his falling heart-ache, he panicked the tomato out of his way and continued onward.

At last, he reached the robotic hole in the wall of the lanky dragon. The dragon trembled at his approach. They fought effectively. The battle was orange and thought-provoking, raging a whole era, until at last, the knight seized the dragon by the earlobe and raped him in the testicle. The princess was grateful, and the knight smelled her over his shoulder and returned to the king. The two promptly waddled, and they lived bashfully ever after.

http://rinkworks.com/crazylibs/crazylibs.cgi
http://rinkworks.com/dialect/

I guess I'll get back to the topic of universals some other time...
This is why I can't do school... I'm really interested and passionate about some things for a bit... and then I just lose interest... but I'll probably regain that interest sometime...

2006-02-12T05:19:00.000-05:00

Thanks to Angela (yay!), here's a list of 94 supposed universal human traits. Before I attack some of them (I do actually agree with a lot and/or most of these) I want to see if I can get any more clarification and details by reading this guy (anthropologist Donald E. Brown)'s original review (Human Universals). But I'm going to post this now because I think it's really interesting...

The traits of the "Universal People," according to Brown:

gossip

lying

misleading

verbal humor

humorous insults

poetic and rhetorical speech forms

narrative and storytelling

metaphor

poetry with repetition of linguistic elements & three-second lines separated by pauses

words for
days,
months,
seasons,
years,
past,
present,
future,
body parts,
inner states (emotions, sensations, thoughts),
behavioral propensities,
flora,
fauna,
weather,
tools,
space,
motion,
speed,
location,
spatial dimensions,
physical properties,
giving,
lending,
affecting things & people,
numbers (at the very least 1, 2, and >2),
proper names,
possession

distinctions between mother and father

kinship categories, defined in terms of mother, father, son, daughter, and age sequence

binary distinctions, including male/female, black/white, natural/cultural, good/bad

measures

logical relations including “not,” “and,” “same,” “equivalent,” “opposite,” general vs. particular, and part vs. whole.

conjectural [conjecture: inference or judgment based on inconclusive or incomplete evidence] reasoning (inferring the presence of absent and invisible entities from their perceptible traces)

nonlinguistic vocal communication such as cries and squeals
interpreting intention from behavior

recognized facial expressions of happiness, sadness, anger, fear, surprise, disgust, and contempt

use of smiles as a friendly greeting

crying

coy flirtation with the eyes

masking, modifying, and mimicking facial expressions

displays of affection

sense of self vs. other, responsibility, voluntary vs. involuntary behavior, intention, private inner life, normal vs. abnormal mental states

empathy

sexual attraction

powerful sexual jealousy

childhood fears, especially of loud noises, and at the end of the first year, strangers

fear of snakes

“oedipal” feelings (possessiveness of mother, coolness toward her consort)

face recognition

adornment of bodies and arrangement of hair

sexual attractiveness, based in part on signs of health, and, in women, youth

hygiene

dance

music

play, including play fighting

manufacture of, and dependence upon, many kinds of tools, many of them permanent, made according to culturally transmitted motifs, including cutters, pounders, containers, string, levers, spears

use of fire to cook food and for other purposes

drugs, both medicinal, and recreational

shelter

decoration of artifacts

a standard pattern and time for weaning

living in groups, which claim a territory and have a sense of being a distinct people

families built around a mother and children, usually the biological mother, and one or more men

institutionalized marriage, in the sense of publicly recognized right of sexual access to a woman eligible for childbearing

socialization of children (including toilet training) by senior kin

children copying their elders

distinguishing of close kin from distant kin, and favoring of close kin

avoidance of incest between mothers and sons

great interest in the topic of sex

status and prestige, both assigned (by kinship, age, sex) and achieved

some degree of economic inequality

division of labor by sex and age

more child care by women

more aggression and violence by men

acknowledgment of differences between male and female natures

domination by men in the public political sphere

exchange of labor, goods, and services

reciprocity, including retaliation

gifts

social reasoning

coalitions

government, in the sense of binding collective decisions about public affairs

leaders, almost always non-dictatorial, perhaps ephemeral

laws, rights, and obligations, including laws against violence, rape, and murder

punishment

conflict, which is deplored

rape

seeing of redress for wrongs

mediation

in-group/out-group conflicts

property

inheritance of property

sense of right and wrong

envy

etiquette

hospitality

feasting

diurnality

standards of sexual modesty

sex generally in private

fondness for sweets

food taboos

discreetness in elimination of body wastes

supernatural beliefs

magic to sustain and increase life, and to attract the opposite sex

theories of fortune and misfortune

explanations of disease and death

medicine

rituals, including rites of passage

mourning the dead

dreaming & interpreting dreams

2006-02-07T04:41:00.000-05:00

"Evolutionary psychologists have identified 26 behavior traits that all humans on our planet share. Here are just a few of the more interesting ones: deception, detecting emotions, gossip, humor, perception of status/rank, and romantic love."

I don't understand how anyone could know this. I doubt we've been able to study every single culture in the world. And after that, every single person in the world. I hate "universal truths" so I'm going to give exceptions to each one of these. And , if you actually read this, try to get your mind out of the western world, and think about other, possibly less well known societies. Also, I wonder why the other 20 weren't mentioned, and why I can't seem to find them on google.

Deceptions... Who's to say that every single human and every single community is deceiving and backstabbing? It is possible that there are some good people in the world. Some communities where deception is faced with death, and where it's the norm to be blunt and honest rather than to deceive.

Detecting emotions... Some people actually cannot do this. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Some people have differently formulated brains that don't process things the way the majority of human brains do. Autism, schizophrenia, dementia, etc. Furthermore I would argue that not all societies rely on emotion detectors, and rather are open with emotion so that others do not have the need to detect emotion. Also I would argue that some societies may hide the majority of emotions so that there is no emotion for others to detect.

Gossip... I will define gossip as some persons talking about others persons and other events going on in a community. This does not happen in every society, considering the fact that some places are small enough for everyone to know what's going on without necessitating gossip, or without feeling the need to discuss it. Further more, not all people care about other persons and other going ons. Some people, even in america, could care less about the Rogers getting cable down the street and would not even think to talk about it.

Humor... This is a hard one to argue... but I'm going try anyway. Not all cultures value humor, defined as something that is funny, laughable, or amusing. There are probably some cultures in which laughter has been/is punished (armies, academies, monastaries?). Also I've seen my share of people with no senses of humor....

Perception of status/rank... First off, not all societies even have status/rank. Maybe there is a perception of the difference between males and females, but that's not always a difference of status/rank. There do exist some more "primitive" societies that are more or less egalitarian and do not have status/rank. Everyone works and everyone takes turns working, and all are considered equal. Also, not everyone cares about status/rank. Especially in an increasingly youthful, and hippyish western culture, status and rank is ignored, and people are viewed as people (it's rare, but it's out there).

Romantic love... Some cultures have no perception of this whatsoever. Marriage and "love" is an economic situation rather than a romantic one. You get married and reproduce with someone because of their means, position in society, relationship with your family, and/or other reasons not including romance, passion, or love. Even in america we have a community of those commonly known as prostitutes, who hardly, it seems to me, have anything to do with this so called "romantic love."

Disclaimer... I don't necessarily agree with everything I've said in this post; it's mostly for the sake of argument. And though I've stated some things as "facts," I do not regard them as so; much more research would need to be done in order for there to be any kind of productive argument about universal truths.

So, what universal human characteristics do I belive in (because you obviously care)?

Well, me being me.... I don't know.

2006-02-07T04:31:00.000-05:00

I've been reading the idiot's guide to psychology, which got me thinking...

2006-02-07T04:29:00.000-05:00

I'm sure I've said this a lot before... but I feel the urge to restate it...

It is NOT cogito ergo sum; I think therefore I am

It's cogito ergo cogito; I think therefore I think.

The only thing that the fact that one person thinks proves is the fact that that person thinks.

Wow. What a confusing sentence. Let me try again... The only thing that thinking proves... is that a person can think.

2006-02-07T04:27:00.000-05:00

If human beings truly are the "best" and the "fittest"
then by Darwin's principle of natural selection
wouldn't all animals have evolved to become humans and/or more human-like?

2006-02-01T17:10:00.000-05:00

perfection. perfect foto. perfect makeup. perfect subject.
ugh. jealous.

2006-01-12T02:24:00.000-05:00

I've come to the realization that I can do pretty much anything I put my mind to...
I just don't quite know what that is at the moment...
I mean... temporarily... get a job and move into my own apartment...
But what then? I don't want to work at some lousy retail place the rest of my life...
But I don't really know what else I'd want to do.
sigh.

2006-01-01T14:25:00.000-05:00

Also. I wish I were a gay boi.

2006-01-01T14:17:00.000-05:00

too fousand an sizzix

Yesterday... at new yea's eve party... I had one of the best times I've ever had.

Why?
Not because I was intoxicated enough to be remotely social..
Not because we were listening to loud music and being wild & crazy...
Not because there was oodles of stuff to be entertained with...

But because I actually was content. With myself. Which allowed me to be content with everyone else. Maybe I was lucky and around some awesome peepla... but I was actually happy for one of the first times I can remember... it was weird, but amazing. I never realized just how far a tiny bit of confidence can go... not a lot, not conceit, but feeling that you're equal to everyone.. not below and most definitely not above. Twas great.

I just hope this lasts.

This is one of the first times I've had a good feeling about the upcoming year.

YAyYAYayyHEir
HAhwyryA!

2005-12-29T10:13:00.000-05:00

disgusting. utterly disgusting.

WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!
IS THIS BITCH SEIOUSLRYIODUS
SERIOUS!?!?1
OAHIJGOIGe!
HOLY FUCKIN SHIT!
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THESE KIDS?

http://www.xanga.com/perfection_is_skinny
http://www.xanga.com/XXX_aNaAdDiCt_xxx

a "pro ana" xanga group

ana is short for anorexic. these people worship it. it's sick. they eat 130 calories in a single day is bad. what the fucking fuck!!?!?!POJ!4e'f,k1

UGH!

2005-12-20T23:56:00.000-05:00

this guy is awesome! look at the sculpture...

2005-12-09T02:47:00.000-05:00

Well.
I'm back at home.
And it's terrible.
My parents are driving me more crazy than I already am.

However. Strawberry sunkist is just about the best thing ever. After my dog.

And also. There's a big scab on my right side of the back of my head that won't go away. It's been there for a couple of months now. It's really annoying.

2005-12-07T23:24:00.000-05:00

I've come to the realization that I'm too selfish for polygamy.

2005-11-29T16:57:00.000-05:00

and so....

I'm getting kicked out of school...

yes.. that's right...

forced medical leave

because I'm so behind that this semester can't be salvaged
and they think I should take some time off
to work out whatever the issues are
that are keeping me from doing my work
so that I can come back and get stuff done

or something like that

I really... don't know... what I think about it....

2005-11-29T13:49:00.000-05:00

oooooooooooooooooooh
stop

with your feet on the air and your head on the ground
try this trick & spin it yeaah
your head will collapse
if there's nothing in it
and you'll ask yourself

where is my mind
where is my mind
wheeeeeeere is my mind

waaaaay out....in the water, see it swimmin

_____________________________________

but seriously... where is my mind these days
I honestly think I've missplaced it.
Over the past couple of years or so... my brain power seems to have been gradually dropping
I seriously have already gone senile.
I don't remember anything.
I'll be talking, in the middle of a sentence, and completely forget what I was talking about.
This happens a lot these days, not just on occasion.
I forgot to buy my train ticket the other day and had to pay an extra $5 on the train.
I leave shit everywhere.
I left my cell phone charger at my dorm.
And then I left my cell phone at home.
I left a brand new bag containing my cell phone & a gift card in my friend's car.
I lost my expensive amazing eyeliner at the dandy warhols concert.
When I bring movies anywhere I forget them there.
The buttons on my bag always fall off and are lost forever.
And I could go on...
I'm like a slug; I leave a trail behind me everywhere I go.
I've forgotten about classes and appointments several times, despite the fact that I always have them at the same time every week...
I often write shit down on my hand so I won't forget, but I always do... for example picking up a package, talking to x teacher... etc...

My mind.... I don't know.... I think I've finally just lost it

If I'm like this now... what will I be like when I'm old?
I can't even begin to imagine....

2005-11-18T21:00:00.000-05:00

You know what a wicked awesome game is?

That game we always used to play in kindergartedn and elementary school, where everyone would sit in a circle, one person would come up with a sentence, and whisper it to the person next to them. By the time it got back to the original person, the statement would be hilariously fucked up.

Unfortunately I don't think the majority of people grasped the main concept of that game.... that spreading rumors and talking shit about people behind their backs is... well.. bad.

I hate college. Well... more specifically college students.... and to really get to the point...

I hate people.

2005-11-05T23:51:00.000-05:00

Went to bed about 1 or 2 (am)?
Got up at about 6?pm it was dark.
The only reason I got up was because I had to piss.
Came back to bed. Turned on the light.
Got on the internet. Talked to some people.
Listened to music. Layed around on bed.
Ate a lot of candy. Some peanuts. Granola bars.
Dumped the aged fruit juice that was collecting fruit flies like a dead rat.
Ren came in looking for Emily.
April's in here writing her essay.
That was my only true life human interaction for the day.
I kindof want to go get some warm food.
But I dont want to be seen. And I don't want to see.
I really don't want to talk right now.
I just want to go back to sleep.

I don't want to stay here. At slc. I can't do it.
But...I don't really want to go back home, get a job, live with my parents.
I just want. to sleep. forever.

____________________________________________

2005-11-05T00:58:00.000-05:00

ohh exactly:

2005-11-03T23:13:00.000-05:00

icnat breathe.
ive neve\r cried this hard before.
i cant take this anymore
i cant do it.
i cant stand it.
i wish i had a gun.
i dont have enough pills for it to work.
speed limits not fast enough on the closes road.
pleaseee somebody kill me
pleasee. god.
god dqamnit.
i hate this.
ugggh.

2005-10-30T21:40:00.000-05:00

I said god damn....god damn...

I can't get myself to work.
I can't do it.
I just sit here.
On the internet.
Doing nothing really.
And I tell myself, ok, you need to work, you're already a bajillion years behind.
But what do I do?
Sit there with the computer in my lap and my books by my side.

Will I ever get it together.
I have this strange feeling of deep and extreme fear inside me.

And my eyes hurt.
And my feet smell.

2005-10-27T03:04:00.000-04:00

PaperClipPimp153: hey ingridwhats uphows your reading going
arfblat: not much....i shoood be readin rite noww
arfblat: but...i not
PaperClipPimp153: did u know there r coffee flavored PEZ? wierd...
arfblat: whoaaa
arfblat: crayyzzee!
arfblat: i wantt
PaperClipPimp153: crap, i wsa gonna ask u something but i cant remember now lol
arfblat: haheh
PaperClipPimp153: whats ur name again?
arfblat: iiiiinggggrrrrridddd
arfblat: who be disss?
PaperClipPimp153: crap, I was gonna ask u something but I cant remember now lol
arfblat: hahaha
arfblat: that suxxxxes
PaperClipPimp153: lol
arfblat: whoo lahk you bee?
PaperClipPimp153: what about me?
arfblat: hhHHAaha
PaperClipPimp153: huh?
arfblat: who is diss?
PaperClipPimp153: oops, sorry
arfblat: haheh sokkkk
PaperClipPimp153: -;-)
arfblat: hhhaah who you bee!!
PaperClipPimp153: what aobut me?
arfblat: hwhah salted mandaroons.
PaperClipPimp153: :-D
PaperClipPimp153: :-P
arfblat: :-!
arfblat: i ate
arfblat: a food
arfblat: i mean
arfblat: foot
PaperClipPimp153: :-P
PaperClipPimp153: Please talk to me
arfblat: hello
arfblat: my name is ingrid
arfblat: what be yourn
PaperClipPimp153: what r u up to?
arfblat: sitting, lykk, around
arfblat: and like internetting
arfblat: insted o' readinn
PaperClipPimp153: hello? ugh aol keeps freezing on me
arfblat: yehh aol be lahk dum
arfblat: hhahe hey
arfblat: hello
PaperClipPimp153: have you tried the new coke with lime? it's pretty good
arfblat: nahh
arfblat: i dunno
PaperClipPimp153: do u hav ea gf/bf?
arfblat: i not a big fan o' lime
arfblat: not currently
PaperClipPimp153: i would probably feel the same way lol
arfblat: haehaehehha
PaperClipPimp153: are you any good with computers? I am pretty illiterate when it comes to computers, haha
arfblat: me twoo
PaperClipPimp153: I understand
arfblat: yeh
arfblat: computers are inane
arfblat: inzane
PaperClipPimp153: alrighty
arfblat: yeah
PaperClipPimp153: alrighty then
arfblat: do you like to eat toasted mandarins?
arfblat: I personally do not
PaperClipPimp153: food! lol i love all food!
arfblat: I enjoy buttoned salmon peppers

2005-10-26T01:09:00.000-04:00

Yay! I went home. 'Twas goot. I'm not really sure what was good about it. Familiarity. Knowing people, knowing places, knowing all the nooks & crannies of my hometown... Just being in an environment in which I'm totally and completely comfortable. I think one of the reasons I'm so miserable here (at slc) is because I'm just not used to it yet. I'm realizing how much I really hate change. Going home, visiting school, driving around raleigh, I noticed all the changes, new buildings, missing trees, and it really upset me. I wish there was a place that always stayed the same, so I could go back and visit it, and it could bring me the comfort of my past. Why am I so reluctant towards change, progress, the future? I don't understand. This is an inevitable part of life, and I realize that. I try to convince myself that I like change, changing bed sheets, changing posters, changing my routes to classes, changing what I eat.... but really, I hate change...I was upset that my parents moved stuff around in my room, I like my new orange bed sheets, but I miss the green ones, I usually walk the same way to class unless I tell myself to go a different way to change things up a bit, but then I usually feel a bit uncomfortable and like things aren't right, I usually eat the same exact thing (mozzarella sticks & cherry coke, cheese sammiches, frosted flakes, etc) in the same exact way unless I have some huge craving for something else. I suppose maybe this is evident of my obsessive-compuslive-ness. I don't like to call it a disorder, because we're all obsessive-compusive in some ways or not; it's just a scale and we all fall on it in different places; it doesn't mean we have some disorder if we fall on it at the top or the bottom. Anyway. This is pointless rambling. And now that I'm not at home anymore, I miss it again. It's mainly the people at home, I think, that I miss. I dunno.

But I have decided that I love trains/subways/buses/other forms of mass transit. I really love subways though. They're so convenient & efficient & smart & better than tons of cars killing everything. I was on the train for 9 hours. And instead of hating it, I really loved it, which is kindof strange. I love watching people get on and off, and sortof getting to know people or at least pretending to, and making characters for them in my head, and guessing what they're like. And, it's weird, on the train, I like change; I like it when new people get on and old people get off, and the semi-atmosphere that combination of people creates.

I don't really know what I'm talking about. I'm really confused. I don't know what I think or believe anymore. I don't feel like giving examples. I feel bored now that I'm back at school, and I don't want to write essays and go to class. I want to read what I feel like when I feel like it, and discuss it with other people when I'm comfortable doing so. I don't know. I don't know I don't know. I hate these moods, even though they are the epitome of me, miranda, ingrid. These moods where I just don't know anything at all--what I want in life, what I want to do now or later, whether I'm hungry, or want to talk or sleep or cry or what, I don't know what I believe--they're me to the core; I don't know who I am, and I hate that and I hate me.

On the subject of names I find it interesting that at slc I'm known as ingrid; but at home, I'm miranda, for the most part. I think I might be leading myself towards a split personality kindof thing....which would be pretty damn awesome, if you ask me. When I'm happy and in a good mood, I tend to think of myself as ingrid. But when I'm upset or angry, I'm miranda; for example if I really screw something up, I'll think to myself something like god damnit miranda, ugh you idiot. And when I'm in a good mood and feel "cute" and talking in third person (ok, which I do sometimes...shutit) I'm ingrid. But it's not a real split personality, or anything serious. Meh. I don't really feel like going into the name thing right now. And I don't really feel like going back and organizing this to make it more readable or spell checking. Done.

2005-10-18T21:42:00.000-04:00

I FINALLY GOT ITUNES! YAYY
STEALING PEOPLE'S MUSIC IS GREAT!

IM IN REALLY MIXED MOODS RIGHT NOW
PARTIALLY EXTREMELY HYPER AND CRAZY
PROBABLY FROM A LACK OF SLEEP
AND PARTIALLY REALLY PISSED AT HUMANITY
AND SARAH LAWRENCE COLLEGE
LALALLALWLAWELLAELA

2005-10-18T04:16:00.000-04:00

miserable :: being in a pitiable state of distress or unhappiness

enraged :: marked by extreme anger

depressed :: low in spirits; dejected

fed up :: unable or unwilling to put up with something any longer

dear world,

sincerely,
--ingrid.

2005-10-18T02:22:00.000-04:00

spoon- -my new obsession

I turn my camera on
I cut my fingers on the way
The way I'm slippin away
I turn my feelings off
Y' made me untouchable for life
And you wasn't polite

It hit me like a tom
You hit me like a tom
On on and on

When I turn my feelings on
I turn my feelings on inside
Feel like I'm gonna ignite
I saw them stars go off
I saw them stars go off at night
And they're looking alright

Keep on blowin up
Keep on blowin em off
Get up roll it out
Keep on showin em out

Y' hit me like a tom
It hit me like a tom
On and on a tom

I turn my camera on
I cut my fingers on the way
I feel me slippin away
I wipe my feelings off
Y' made me untouchable for life
Yeah and you wasn't polite

Y' hit me like a tom
I don't know where it's from
It hit me like a tom-tom

Here comes the flan

2005-10-16T19:17:00.000-04:00

I went to sleep at about 4:00 am.
I woke up at about 7:00 pm.
My neighbor thought I was dead.
Whoa.

2005-10-16T19:11:00.000-04:00

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dear parents,
away messages mean that I'm away...
but thankyou for the messages
I quite enjoyed them.

2005-10-15T03:41:00.000-04:00

I can't wait to go home. Oh I can't wait.
Puppy! People! Friends! Familiarity! Good weather!
OhhhhHHAHhaoh I cannttt wIAIATT!!!!
I neeever expected to be so homesick.
I think I even miss my parents.
I never thought I would say that.
buutuutut...I just can't wait ta go home.

2005-10-14T13:07:00.000-04:00

Sweet Tea(jesus), I miss Bojangles!!!!!!
OHh mmm how I could go for one o' they's perfectly buttah'd biscuits!
I can't believe so many people here don't know Bojangles!
Goodddd... I feel so southern. Oh well, the food in the south is damn good.

2005-10-14T12:28:00.000-04:00

I love galoshes.

More specifically... I love the combination of galoshes and puddles.

Whee!

And yet...I despise rain. Well, not actually the rain itself, more its effects if that makes any sense at all. I hate being wet and cold and miserable. The lack of sunlight doesn't please me either. And I hate umbrellas; I hate not being able to see things, which is another problem with rain: it's near impossible to look up and actually see it pouring down on you. I want a clear umbrella, so I can see the rain and its beauty. And maybe I would actually enjoy being in it if I had a bathing suit and warm weather. Or if I could just screw clothes all together, but then there would have to be an absence of people. Then rain would be fun and amazing. But not now, in the freezing cold, in soaking wet clothing. And not for an entire week.

But, I suppose, jumping around in puddles keeps me going...

(hover over image for caption)

2005-10-13T04:20:00.000-04:00

images o' room comin' soon

2005-10-13T04:19:00.000-04:00

2005-10-13T04:18:00.000-04:00

2005-10-13T04:17:00.000-04:00

2005-10-13T04:15:00.001-04:00

2005-10-13T04:15:00.000-04:00